Fanta
Fanta Fofana is an organizer with Families for Freedom in New York. She has been a member of the organization since 2007, when her father was deported to Senegal. She joined the Youth Leadership program at that time and has stayed with the organization ever since.
Photographed by Aviva Klein. Note: interview has been lightly edited for readability.
Interviewer 0:00
Could you tell us your name, today's date, and where you're located?
Fanta 0:12
I’m Fanta Fofana. Today's date is October 26th, 2020. And I'm in the Bronx, New York.
Interviewer 0:22
Well welcome, Fanta. And thank you again for joining us. We have a few different themes that we want to touch on today. And one, one is this idea of home. For many of us who come from immigrant families, or are immigrants, home is sometimes neither here/there. It's sometimes a place, and sometimes it's people. And sometimes it's waiting for us. And sometimes we make it as we go. We find it in people, we find it in places. Sometimes it's memories. Sometimes it's something awaiting us. So if you could just begin and tell us a little bit about your home, as you define it.
Fanta 1:10
Um—well, I'd say for me, well, one end obviously home is the Bronx since that's where I was born and raised, and it’s where my entire family that I know of is. Um, and also just with my immediate family, my mom, my siblings, and then I have an aunt and uncle with their kids. So for me, just like being with them just means being at home. And yeah, I guess I'm like––that's where my roots are in the Bronx. And just with my family.
Interviewer 1:49
Can you––can you tell us a little bit about––uh––Were you born here in the United States?
Fanta 2:02
Yeah.
Interviewer 2:04
So can tell us a little bit about some of the conditions under which your family moved to the US?
Fanta 2:12
Um, so both of my parents are from Senegal, which is in West Africa. Um, and they grew up in a village, a really small village that most people don't really know the name of. Um, it’s called Tambacounda. And they traveled from there, from my understanding, to Canada and then to the U.S. Um, and they were the only ones aside from my mom's cousin who had moved from Senegal to the United States. So there isn't––like all of the rest of the family’s back in Senegal. And it was like a common story with immigrants to have a better life for themselves and their kids. And yeah, so my parents settled down in New York. They ended up traveling from Canada to New York, um, settled down in the Bronx, and had six of us and I am the oldest [laughs] of the six… Yeah.
Interviewer 3:07
Wow. And, and so how did they end up in the Bronx? Can you tell us a little bit more about that kind of journey from Canada to the Bronx, what you know?
Fanta 3:20
Honestly, I think it's because like, they knew of people here. So um, they come from the Soninke tribe, and they––they knew of Soninke people in New York. And you know, New York is a city where there's all types of different people, right? Like people from all over the world and different communities. So I think they just felt more comfortable coming here, just because they knew that there were other people here from Senegal who are Soninke and speak their language.
Interviewer 3:47
That can make such a big difference. And they tell you about that time of coming to New York what are some…I know for me, there's often certain stories that are repeated, about first experiences in the U.S. For you, are there certain stories that are repeated in your family about first memories of the U.S.?
Fanta 4:22
Not really. My parents didn't really always talk about like how it was for them when they first got here. Um, they mainly just, you know, told us that it was a long journey because they had to go from Senegal to Canada. They didn't necessarily have the papers to come into New York, or the U.S. in general. Um, but they made it, and I just know that it was scary for them. Like I know it was scary for them because they had to cross from Canada into the U.S. And they were afraid that like they'd be sent back home and wouldn't have the chance to create a new life here.
Interviewer 5:04
And that fear, right? That constant fear. I wonder if you can kind of reflect on, a little bit about how…do you remember when you first learned that your father might be deported, or would be deported?
Fanta 5:31
Yeah. So it was the––I mean the day my dad got arrested, I still didn't know what like immigration entailed in the U.S. Like I didn't know what it meant. Like I knew people who traveled from country to country, but I didn't know that there were laws attached to it. I didn't know that, like, people could get sent out of a country for long periods of time. I had no idea about anything.
So when he was arrested, I honestly thought it was just like you know, the regular police that came. Um, and I thought you know, he didn't do anything wrong, so he'd be––he'd be able to come back home. That was just like my thought process, and I'm thinking he's gonna come back home. Um, but then a few months later, he ends up getting sent back. And I think that's when I started to like, learn about everything, because I was like: why did they send him back? I don't understand. Like I was only 11 at the time, so I didn't know too much about what was going on. Um, and he––they had arrested him in July, and he was––in July of 2007. And he was sent back––he was deported in November of that same year.
So it was only a few months between the time he was, like, arrested and the time that he got deported. And for me, that wasn't like enough time to understand and really wrap my head around what was going on. But I think like, as time went on, like you know––that was the time my family first um, got introduced to Families for Freedom. And from there, that's when I started to learn about like the immigrants— the immigration system in the U.S. And that's when I knew that, you know, there were laws attached to moving around in this world, and that if you came to the U.S., like you could get sent back if they didn't want you here, and they could keep you out…
“Like, I’m just waking up out of my sleep. And I go to open the door, and there are like officers right outside the door. And I watched like, as they’re handcuffing my dad, but then they like, slammed the door closed. And that was literally the last––that’s like the last image in my head that I have of my father. ”
Interviewer 7:18
Do you remember how the rest of your family––you were 11, right?—do you remember how the rest of your family reacted in that moment also?
Fanta 7:31
Yeah. So it was like [pauses] I don't know. It was early in the morning. And the ICE cops had come to our––ICE officers––had come to our apartment. And it was like 6 o'clock in the morning. So I was 11. My youngest sibling was one. There's like an almost 10 year gap between us. And so I just remember being woken up out my sleep. And then, you know, cause my mom was like crying and saying, like: “They took your father. They took a father.” And I'm like: what do you mean? Like, I'm just waking up out of my sleep. And I go to open the door, and there are like officers right outside the door. And I watched like, as they’re handcuffing my dad, but then they like, slammed the door closed. And that was literally the last––that's like the last image in my head that I have of my father.
And I think like, in that moment, everyone was scared. And then when he finally got sent back, like me and all my siblings––we––like for us, it was just like, we didn't really understand what was happening. But then when we finally did understand that he was deported––for us I think we knew that there was––or we thought that there was a chance that he could come back. So it just made us––like when we realize in the moment that like, you know, he was deported, he got kicked out. We were like oh, like we can fight to bring him back. So that's what got us into, you know––you know––doing this fight. So that––that was it. That moment was just like we need to fight to bring our father back. Because we missed him and we were like kids… so...
Interviewer 9:01
And this idea of coming back, of bringing him back, sounds like it was a hugely motivating force for you all.
Fanta 9:17
Yeah.
Interviewer 9:20
Where did he go when he was first arrested and detained before being deported? Did you know where he was?
Fanta 9:32
I don't know exactly. But I––I just remember that he was––I think my mom said that he had been sent to a detention center in New York State, or like in New Jersey. I can’t remember which one he went to first, but it was like he went to New Jersey and then one in New York State, or he went to one in New York State and got moved to New Jersey. I just know that he was transferred at least once before he was deported. And when he was transferred it made it more difficult for my mom to be able to visit ‘cause he was further away.
Interviewer 10:00
And did that idea of bringing your dad back ever change? What happened to that hope? And how did it shift for you and your family?
Fanta 10:17
Um, I don't think it ever really went away even though it has been 13 years. Like, we still think about it, like him being able to come back. But um, I think at one point, we sort of stopped focusing so much on that, as much as like trying to, you know, fight against um, the laws that caused him to be taken in the first place. And then also focusing on getting my mom to stay ‘cause she was also fighting her own like immigration battle. So a lot of the attention got shifted in that sense, like towards that. But I think even today we're always like oh, like how can we—you know––what can we do to bring him back? That hope like––just––I don’t think it ever really left. We're still like, thinking about him coming. You know?
Interviewer 11:09
That's beautiful. And, and God willing, that will happen, right?
Fanta 11:16
Yeah, thank you.
Interviewer 11:21
Absolutely, yeah.
You know, there was one member from the Immigrant Defense Project that said you know: “the system never lets you go. You're always somehow caught up in it, right? No matter where you go.” And then after they said: “you know, how much punishment does one person need?” And meaning one person, but also then one family? And I just wonder, you know, where does that kind of reflection land for you? And what would you want people to know about how the system works?
Fanta 12:00
Um, well I'd say that it is true. The system never lets you go cause, I mean, my mom, her battle right? She just essentially, I guess you can say won in a way last year cause she finally got her green card. And––but this was last year. This is after like she'd been in this country for 25 years. So like that's a long time to be trying to get status in this country. And then obviously like my dad is in––is in Senegal right now. And we're still thinking of ways to try and get him back. And then even then when he does come back, like they're still––ya know they’re gonna be following him. He's gonna have like an A Number attached to him, right? Like, they all gonna just have A Numbers attached to them, following them wherever they go. Until, if possible, they get citizenship. So unless you have citizenship, you're always gonna be part––like you know, like wrestling around in the system, just going back and forth. Um, but yeah I think like for me, [pauses] we can still like––I mean to me it's like, we can change it. Like I don't lose hope that there can be change with the system, and that people can finally get their family members back, and families can stop being torn apart. You know? So… yeah.
Interviewer 13:18
Yeah. And what are some of the ways…One of the things we're interested in learning about also is just––or hearing about is––is what are some of the strategies for survival that you and your family and that your Dad use? In terms of these long 13 years, 2007 to 2020? That’s a long time.
Fanta 13:54
It was hard. So my dad was the breadwinner. So he was the one making the money, paying the bills. My mom was home taking care of us. And my mom also had like, like health issues, like back problems, so she couldn't really work right? When my dad was taken he had, um, left behind like a little bit of a savings that held us over for a few months. And it was only until April of 2008. And then we were homeless.
My family ended up getting evicted, and we were in the shelter system. And we were stuck in the shelter system for five and a half years. Um and that was like, I think for my family, the hardest five and a half years of our life. Like, they had us moving from apartment to apartment, shelter building to shelter building all over the city, last-minute notice. Like sometimes I would come home from school and I'd see my mom packing and I'm like: what's happening? And she's like: they said we have to move again. So––and then this would be like on a school night. And it just, like––it was really hard on all of us. But I think having all of us––having each other, and you know, holding on to this hope that things could get better. I think that's what kept us going.
Because it was so difficult, stressful, and my mom was like crying all the time. And like, me being the oldest, like I had to help her a lot with my younger siblings. So I was taking on like, a lot of responsibility. But what also helped was that like we weren't um, making––I guess as kids we weren’t making things too difficult, you know for my mom. Um, and we just focused on school. That was like, the thing. We just focused on school. Put all of our energy into school. The only things we couldn't do, which sucked was like after school programs. So we didn't really get to have––at least for me like, I didn't get to have a lot of that like fun from sports and clubs and stuff like that.
So it was just––that was our way of just surviving; just focusing on school and just taking it a day at a time. And just holding on to that hope that things will get better. And then they eventually did, because now we are––we’re not homeless anymore. And we're in a––um––we have our own apartment, which is––we always talking about it, like our family’s always talking about it like: I can't believe it. We got this apartment. It's been seven years now that we've been in this apartment, but we still talk about it––like––cause it was just that the day we got the apartment was like the happiest day of our lives. Um, and then our dad had like, he had family back home. None of his family ever moved to the U.S. The only family like, from––that came here, aside from our––like my mom/dad were my mom's cousin. That's it. But my dad, he had all his family still back home. So when he got there, even though they’re poor and they live in a village, he still had somewhere to go. But it still was a struggle for him. And he had to find work. He had to find a way to like, take care of himself. Because he hadn't been there. He hadn't been in Senegal in over a decade. It had been a long time. So he had to basically reestablish his life there, um, and figure out ways to survive while he was there. And it took a while before he kind of got like his footing there. It's still kind of shaky for him over there. But it's not as bad as it was when he first got there. So––And then calling each other, you know, hearing his voice, him hearing our voices. I think that also helped...Yeah.
Interviewer 17:28
Yeah. Is it true that you’re finishing college?
Fanta 17:35
Yeah [laughs].
Interviewer 17:38
Congratulations! What did you end up studying?
Fanta 17:48
Biology. Majored in biolo—yeah…
Interviewer 17:50
Wow. Majored in Biology! . . . that's not my strong suit for sure [laughter]. So congratulations, that’s––that's amazing. And what are you hoping to do?
Fanta 18:04
Um, the goal is med school at some point. I've taken a little break cause school, back to back, with all the stress, I was like: I need a little break. But the goal is med school.
Interviewer 18:15
Wow. That's amazing! Congratulations. You know that story of…I want to hear a little bit more about the day you guys found out you were gonna get this apartment, your home that you're in now. Can you tell us about that day when you found out? Or what when you moved in was like? Just tell us first about the day you found out you were gonna get the apartment.
Fanta 18:43
I think in a way, like, in a way we didn't believe it [laughs] cause I mean we had been you know––being tossed around between shelter to shelter for five and a half years. And like, we didn't believe it at first. And I don't think my mom believed it. And like, we all just cried, honestly. That first day when we moved into the apartment we had nothing but like, our suitcases. Everyone had a suitcase with like, clothes in them. That's all we had. Um, and then we just cried because we had finally like, had somewhere secure. We weren't going to have to move at the last minute on a school night, carrying boxes and bags of like, our stuff. Um, and like, I think we knew that like most of the stress that we’d been dealing with was just like, off our shoulders. And like my mom had––so I can tell you the story of how we got the apartment.
So one of the women in Judson Memorial Church. She saw an ad on a newspaper for um, I guess the group's name––the landlord is The Bronx Pro Group. Um, they're the real estate agency that owns the building, and it was just, you know, saying we have apartments ready/available for tenants. And she had written a handwritten letter to the owner. Um the––basically the landlord. And she basically told him about us, and that we had been you know, in the shelter, and it was six kids and their mom and they needed a place. And he ended up getting that letter and reading it. He actually got it and read it. And he said that the reason they called us in was because he had connected with us. So he is also the child of immigrants. He also grew up very poor. And he also focused a lot on school because he wanted to get out of his situation. And when he heard, like what we were going through––he saw our report cards, cause the woman had sent him our report cards. He was like: these kids are going through all this and they're still keeping their grades up. So he was like, I'm gonna give them a chance.
And he ended up giving us his largest apartment and not making my mom pay rent for at least two years. So he was like you guys can––yeah––and it was like, we didn't believe it. We didn't know that someone could do that for somebody. You know cause, you know what––like a lot of those stories you hear about landlords you know, you don't think that they're great people. But I guess he just completely changed our perspective on that. But yeah, I like––the first night we moved in, we couldn’t––all the rooms. We finally got to have like, our own rooms––we were like: oh my God, like I can have my own space. I don’t have to share with like three other people, four other people. Um, and it was––yeah––it was great. And we could finally have people over cause in the shelter you can’t. We no longer had to deal with like––like we could do clubs and sports now in school. So it was––it completely changed everything for us.
But yeah––and it took awhile for us to finally like, settle in, cause like I said we only had our suitcases. So we had like a lot of furniture donated to us. But it's––a lot of it's been switched out finally, which is nice, seeing it. And for me it took even longer just because when we moved in, it was my senior year of high school. So I was only here, like, consistently for a few months before I left for college. And then it was––so I was still living out of my suitcase like I was in a shelter. So it took a little bit more time for me to adjust. So I didn’t finally like, settle, until after college. So for me it was another four and a half years of you know, living out of my suitcase. But it was––it was nice to be able to come back someplace. I was scared that I would go into college, and every time I come back I would have to go into a new apartment in a shelter. You know? But that didn't happen. So...
Interviewer 22:30
Wow. What a beautiful story.
Fanta 22:34
[Smiles] Thank you. They're really cool landlords. They gave us jobs afterwards!
Interviewer 22:37
Really?!
Fanta 22:39
Yeah! [Laughs] They’re really nice people! And like––you know––I don't know, they’re different! These landlords are very different. They gave us jobs––me and my sisters––they gave us internships, to help us get a little bit of money and experience before college and in between the summers [between] college years.
Interviewer 22:58
And what was it like for you to leave for college? Where did you end up going away to?
Fanta 23:03
Boston University.
Interviewer 23:05
What was it like for you to leave your family and go away to Boston?
Fanta 23:10
Honestly, [it] was awesome! [Laughs]. For me, it was like [Laughter] I’m the oldest of six! I have to deal with five younger siblings––I love them dearly––but it's a lot of work! So I was like, I can find time for myself, you know? And have time to myself, and I can hang out with friends. And it was cool for me. For me, it was a whole different experience. I got to like, I guess not really live, um, like super independently? Because you're still like––you know––in a school being taken care of by some people. But it was, it was nice, because I got to have my own time. I would come back home, you know, during breaks. But I, when I went away, I was like: this is my time. Like, I can study, hangout with friends, go out when I want, come back home. It was great.
Interviewer 23:57
That's awesome. What was it like for you then? In terms of connecting your work and your activism and your organizing there at Boston College? Did you find a community there to work with as well?
Fanta 24:19
Um, it was not––I mean––not really a community that I was a part of really, but I did find other people. Like there was an African um.... I think it was called the African Union? So it’s like a student led group where I made friends with people there. And then there was also this one um group there that I made friends with. So, like, I didn't really bring my activism there, but, it was nice to be able to connect to people who could relate to me, you know?
Interviewer 24:52
Yeah.
Fanta 24:54
Not everyone there obviously is–– you know––a child of immigrants or a person of color or Muslim you know? So, for me being able to [Unintelligible] that was great.
Interviewer 25:05
Your parents must have been so proud, huh?
Fanta 25:15
Yeah. [Laughs] Yeah. Mama. Yeah. She didn't like that I left, but she was still proud of me for actually making it to college. Despite everything.
Interviewer 25:20
Yeah I bet. She didn't want you to go at first though?
Fanta 25:26
[Shakes Head] No! [Laughs] She did not want me to go! She, she was––I don't know––she just was super against it. But, I said: I'm gonna go! Because I wanted to go away and she finally got used to the idea. And she was okay with it eventually. And then honestly, like, [led] like opened the way for my sisters to be able to go away as well. Because like, there's six of us and there’s four girls and two boys and the two boys are the youngest. And so––you know––Muslim values are like, you can't go away if you're a girl! And I was like: No! I'm going because I want to go! [chuckles] So she finally relented. After a while she realized, like, it was not a big deal. And she was okay with it. Yeah.
“Whenever people hear about, immigration, or crim-imm, they tend to just think about, you know, the Latino people, just, you know, Mexicans, and they just––to them that’s the image of immigration and deportation––like that’s all they see. And so a lot of people kind of gloss over the fact that there are other groups of people who are just as affected by the system. Um and then they have other layers to it, too. So they forget that Afro-immigrants also get picked up all the time.”
Interviewer 26:07
Yeah. Well, Fanta you have led an incredible life and a very…and you’re still pretty young! How old are you now?!
Fanta 26:16
24.
Interviewer 26:18
Is there anything else that you would like folks to know about? What people need to know about how the criminal justice, criminal legal system—criminal injustice system—works? What else would you like people to know, that they don't—that we don't—that folks don't hear about?
Fanta 26:46
Um, well, one of the things is, like, whenever people hear about, immigration, or crim-imm, they tend to just think about, you know, the Latino people, just, you know, Mexicans, and they just––to them that's the image of immigration and deportation––like that's all they see. And so a lot of people kind of gloss over the fact that there are other groups of people who are just as affected by the system. Um, and then they have other layers to it, too. So they forget that Afro-immigrants also get picked up all the time. And because the criminal legal system is connected to the immigration system: you know that pipeline between the criminal legal system, criminal justice system and the immigration system?
We all know, I guess we can––this is like a whole other discussion but––we all know that, like, in the criminal legal system, the people who are picked up more often are like Black people, right? Like Black people, African Americans. And if those people end up being not U.S. citizens––if they end up even just like green card holders and they committed a crime––now they're getting sent back. But people don't think about that. And I feel like that should be part of a conversation. That it's not just––you know––um, Latino people who are getting torn apart. And that you're not invincible [chuckles]. Because of some––I've spoken to people on the streets––like Black people who think that they're not… that they're untouchable, like they think they’re untouchable. Just because they don't fit that image, and they think nothing can get them. Um, and not too many people know about this connection––or this pipeline––between the criminal system and the immigration system. So they just think they're untouchable. And I think just this lack of knowledge and information in the community. I just want more people to be able to see that it’s not as like, it's not just a Latino problem, you know? If you're not a U.S. citizen, and if also like––the other layer––was like, if you're not white, and you have… You become a target, you can become a target. And also green card holders think that they're untouchable as well! But I just… just for that to be more a part of the conversation. And just so people can like be more aware of it.
Interviewer 29:17
That makes a lot of sense. I think, in some ways is why we want to interview folks, because I think through our stories…through your family's story—through so many stories—those categories don't stay so separate, right? So, again, so much to learn, and so much to teach, through hearing and sharing our stories. Do you have anything else you want to share, Fanta?
Fanta 29:51
Hmm I don’t know! [Laughter] Do you have…do you have any more questions? [Laughter]
“You don’t wanna dwell too much on the negative because then that can bring you down and it can tear you down. You want to put your energy into something positive. And there will be days... there are going to be days when you just feel like giving up. And... but, you can get past that, you can be better… Things will get better. ”
Interviewer 31:18
I guess Fanta, the last question I'll pose because, you know, your entire family's story, and your story is so remarkable. But one of the things that I was left with, that kind of touched me so much with hearing about, was you talking about how you guys were kids! [Laughter] And growing up in this, and learning about it from the age––your youngest sibling being 1 to you being 11––and being the past 13 years of your life, and of your your lives. And so I guess, if you had—it's a two part question––if you had advice for other kids going through this and facing similar challenges or fears around their families, what would your advice be? What do you want them to know specifically?
Fanta 32:25
Um, I guess I'd say like... it is gonna be hard. And it's always gonna feel like it's gonna... the next day is gonna be harder and harder and harder. But eventually, it does become easier as long as you hold on to that hope that things will change. And that––you know––your family can get together again. The situation will get better. Um… and just put your energy into something positive. You don’t wanna dwell too much on the negative because then that can bring you down and it can tear you down. You want to put your energy into something positive. And there will be days... there are going to be days when you just feel like giving up. And... but, you can get past that, you can be better… Things will get better.
Interviewer 33:17
Well, before I move on to the last part of the question, I just wonder if you can talk about…I imagine with so many siblings, there's different ways that each, each person and each personality take this on. And so I wonder if you can talk just a little bit about the different ways that maybe you understood your siblings as going through this, and saw them going through it. as the oldest as well?
Fanta 33:43
Yeah. Um, so there’s six of us, we all somehow experienced it differently. Obviously, like... each of our experience with this situation––even though we went to the same events––when we talk to each other about it, like, I realized that we all sort of experienced it differently. So like, you know, my dad––like I said––when he was first taken, for me, it was like tryna calm them down. So I was just like saying, oh, he's gonna come back. Like it's fine. He'll be back.
So I had this kind of like calm demeanor because I had to be. Whereas like with my sisters, especially my youngest sister, she was basically like Daddy's little princess. She was devastated... because when he was deported, it was, I think, two days after her fifth birthday. And she was so sad because he always celebrated her birthday with her and he wasn't there that year to celebrate it with her. And then my other sister, the third born, she was also devastated, because she didn't think she'd ever see him again. And it turned out the worst fear ended up becoming true because it's been 13 years.
Um, my youngest brothers. For them, it was different because they don't really remember much. So, even though––like to them it's like they never really had their dad––you know? The youngest one was one, and my other brother was three at the time. So they don't really remember him too much. And a lot of the stories that they heard about him come from me and my sisters, like we have to tell them he was like this, he did this for us. Um… So… I don’t know. I think that in the end, we all just… we ended up growing up depending on each other. And then, also being independent in a way, because we did go through this together, but also separately, and had to deal with it in our own way.
Um and yeah, I don’t know, it's interesting when I talk to them now about it, and like how they remember things happening and how/what they experienced. And I'm like, I think when I first realized that it was all, that it was different for all of us. I think I was like in high school. And you know, we're talking about it. And I would say something and they'd be like: ‘Oh, it was like this’, like: “I don't know what you mean?”, like this is what happened with me. So, um, yeah, of course, my youngest brother is…because of the fact that my dad wasn't here to sort of like, dote on them, as he did with us, me and my sisters ended up spoiling them a little. We tried to do everything we could for them. I mean, now my youngest brother’s sort of like a little too spoiled now because he thinks everything should go his way. [Laughter] And like, that's totally our fault. Because we really did like, when he was little, we felt like we had to––you know––do those things for him and give him what he wanted because our dad wasn't here. And we were like, too sad. We were like, Oh, he's not gonna grow up with our dad. So we try to do everything for him. But it just ended up being that way. Like, aight I’m the oldest taking care of them. My youngest brother’s the one gettin’ taken care of by everybody. [Laughs] Um yeah...
Interviewer 36:56
Yeah, what are some of the stories you told about your dad? Because they weren't here to remember, they weren't old enough to have those same memories. What are some of the stories that you like to share?
Fanta 37:13
So we tell them about, like, the times he could take us to the park. So my dad would like, regularly take us all to the park. Um, it would just be him, and then just us [Laughs] little girls just following him to the park. And he let us––you know––play around. And then he’d always get us ice cream whenever that ice cream truck passed by—this was in the summertime. And then we told them about how he would get us like bikes and scooters and rollerblades and our mom would be upset, because she didn't want us using those things. [Laughter] She'd be scared that we would hurt ourselves. And he'd always, you know, kind of like tell her just leave them alone: they’re kids, they’re kids! And then also when we would get in trouble with our mom, and––you know––she would wanna spank us, we would all run to him. And he’d protect us. He’d be like: “Leave them alone they’re kids, you know?”
So we would tell them stories like that. And also how every time we asked him for something he literally just gave it to us like, he spoiled us. We always talk about that. He spoiled us! Like if we wanted um, you guys remember the Scholastic Book Fairs? You know, I think we all have that. Yes, so every time there was, I was like a huge bookworm. Every time there was a Scholastic Book Fair, I would just go to my dad and be like: “Can I get this much money? I want this, this and this” And he just would give it to me. He would just be like: “What's it for?” And I'm like: “I want these” and he’d just get it for me. So He spoiled us. And I'd tell my brother even though we weren't like super well off. He would give us what we wanted. And my mom was the opposite cause she wants, she was like the stern kind. And he was like, the one who was just like: “leave them alone, they’re kids” you know. So we would tell them stories like that. And I think because we told them stories like that. We were like, oh, you gotta do the same for them. So...
Interviewer 38:59
Are you there Fanta? I think you froze for a sec.
Yeah, those are some super sweet stories. And so important, I think, to share…he had been a model, as you have for your siblings.
I think the last question I have is, what would your advice to parents be, who have kids who are going through a similar situation, or potentially a similar situation?
Fanta 39:38
Uffff [Sighs] Ummm I don’t know… This is kind of harder. [Laughs] Um, I guess… It would be to be strong for the kids because they feed off of the energy of adults. And if you're stressing out, which it makes sense that you’d be stressed out––you know––as when going through a system like this… [Pause, connection went out]
Interviewer 40:21
Are you there?
Fanta 40:22
Yeah, I'm back. Sorry.
Interviewer 40:24
Okay. You cut out for a quick minute. You were saying “If you're stressing out and it makes sense you would stress out..”
Fanta 40:34
Yeah. So like––you know––they feed off the energy of those around them. So try to give them something else to focus on. But also––you know––again, give them hope and give them strength in any way that you can.
Interviewer 40:50
That’s good advice.